Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
