you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
