For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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