the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
