I just threw up on my dentist
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
should my penis look like a turkey
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize