how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
