Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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