I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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