You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
