Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
