She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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