I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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