is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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