so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
