She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
