I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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