My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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