I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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