Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
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I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
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woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...