Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
