omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk