Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
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I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do