I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
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You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
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Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....