absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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