why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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