I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
