I don't usually arrange sex via text message
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
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I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
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He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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