You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
