omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
