I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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