oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
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I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
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i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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