Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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