God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
where are my eyebrows?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
