So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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