were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
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