went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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