I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
