OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
