Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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