so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
