we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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