im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
