You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
