in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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