could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
