the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
