he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
