I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
