My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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