Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize