naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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