Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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