I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
