Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You need Xanax blowdarts
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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