It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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