I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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