I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
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Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
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Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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