Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
