What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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