I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
